Why We’re Here

This blog is for everyone who’s ever had the rug pulled out from under them and been dumped squarely on their behinds. Over the last couple of years, I’ve watched friend after friend as they were suddenly surrounded by the ashes that used to be their lives. Sadly, most of them were dealing with the end of their marriages, with an unnaturally high number of them ending due to their spouses’ infidelity. But I’ve also had friends who have lost their homes, jobs, or family members to other kinds of tragedy. 

The blog takes it’s name from one such friend whose husband had an affair. After hours and hours of crying, she got good and ass-kicking mad at her husband and started annihilating his model car collection with one of his wrenches. When he saw what she’d done and asked what on earth she was doing, she told him that since he decided to throw a monkey wrench into her life, she was going to throw one into his! That’s the basis for the Monkeywrench Chronicles – figuring out how to work through the pain of whatever’s been thrown at you and taking back control of your life from who or whatever ripped it apart.

All of us who have been through such a traumatic upending of our worlds have something in common - none of us know what to do next. We stand in bewilderment as the dust settles on our personal disasters and we are all trying to figure out what the hell we’re supposed to do now. What people want to know is what comes next – how to move on, how to cope, how to even begin trying to be happy again. My own world exploded 2 years ago when I found out the day after my birthday that my husband was cheating with not one, but 4 different women. When that happened, I was at a total loss, and I looked for help in every possible place I could think of, including the internet. The only thing I found – in books, websites, support groups – was a bunch of sad-sack pity parties that I just did not want any part of. I didn’t want to wallow in the crap my life had become – I wanted to find a way to get out of it! I’ve found my way, but I’m seeing more and more people every day with nowhere to turn because all they hear from everyone is to put on a happy face and just give it time, dear, and everything will be alright.  That’s all well and good, but what do you DO during all the “time” you’re giving yourself? That’s what I wanted to know, and that’s what I’m here to help you figure out too.

~ by akarcher on August 6, 2008.